Transactional Analysis: Understanding Confidence, Pressure and Patterns at Work

When you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, it can be difficult to understand why certain reactions keep repeating.

You might notice things like:

• losing confidence in situations where you used to feel capable • reacting strongly to criticism or authority • finding yourself stuck in the same patterns with colleagues, managers, or partners • feeling torn between self-criticism and self-doubt

These experiences can feel confusing, especially when part of you knows you’re capable and thoughtful.

Many of the people who contact me are thoughtful professionals who feel capable in many areas of life, but something about their working life no longer feels clear.

They may be questioning their career direction, struggling with confidence at work, or noticing patterns in how they respond to pressure, authority, or responsibility.

Counselling offers a space to step back and understand these experiences more clearly.

This is where Transactional Analysis counselling can be very helpful. It offers a practical way of understanding why these patterns happen — and how change becomes possible.

It’s a framework I often draw on in my work as a counsellor because it helps people understand themselves with clarity and respect, rather than judgement.

What is Transactional Analysis?

Transactional Analysis (TA) is a form of psychotherapy that helps us understand how we relate to ourselves and to other people.

It was developed by psychiatrist Eric Berne in the 1950s and is now widely used in counselling, coaching, education and organisational settings.

One of the central ideas in Transactional Analysis therapy is that we all move between different internal “ego states”:

Parent Adult Child

Each state represents a different way of thinking, feeling and responding.

• The Parent may be critical, protective, or nurturing. • The Child may feel playful, anxious, rebellious, or overwhelmed. • The Adult is the grounded part of us that can pause, think clearly, and respond to what is actually happening in the present.

We all move between these states many times throughout the day.

In counselling, we begin to notice which states tend to take over in certain situations — and why.

This isn’t about labelling or diagnosing. It’s about understanding patterns so that you have more choice in how you respond.

Why This Can Be So Helpful

When people experience stress, difficult relationships, or long periods of pressure, their responses can start to feel automatic.

You may notice yourself thinking:

Why do I react like that? Why does this situation affect me so strongly? Why do I keep repeating the same patterns?

Why Criticism at Work Can Affect Confidence So Deeply For example, someone may receive a small piece of feedback at work and suddenly feel a strong wave of anxiety or self-criticism.

Part of them knows the feedback was reasonable, but another part reacts as if they have done something seriously wrong.

Transactional Analysis helps us slow these moments down and gently ask questions such as:

Where is this reaction coming from?

Is it based on something happening now, or something older?

What would it look like to respond from a more grounded and thoughtful place?

Often this work brings a sense of clarity and relief. Reactions that once felt confusing start to make sense.

Patterns People Often Notice

TA can be especially helpful if you find yourself experiencing patterns such as:

• people-pleasing or difficulty setting boundaries • strong self-criticism • switching between emotional shutdown and overwhelm • repeating similar dynamics in relationships or at work

Many people are surprised to discover how much these patterns make sense once we begin exploring them.

TA gives us a language for understanding these experiences — and practical ways to change them. Transactional Analysis and Work

Many of the patterns we explore in counselling also show up in professional life.

People sometimes notice they lose confidence in meetings, struggle to speak up with authority, or feel unusually affected by certain colleagues or managers.

Transactional Analysis can help us understand why these reactions happen and how to respond from a more grounded and thoughtful place.

A Practical and Respectful Approach

One of the reasons I value Transactional Analysis is that it is both practical and deeply respectful of the person.

It is based on three simple ideas:

• Everyone is OK • Everyone has the capacity to think • Everyone can change

Rather than analysing you or labelling your experiences, the work focuses on increasing awareness, strengthening your grounded “Adult” perspective, and helping you develop more choice in how you respond to situations.

Over time this can help people:

• understand their emotional reactions more clearly • build stronger self-trust • reduce internal conflict • respond thoughtfully rather than reacting automatically

Often people feel relieved simply to understand their reactions more clearly.

What once felt confusing begins to make sense — and that clarity creates the possibility of responding differently.

If you’re interested in Transactional Analysis counselling, you’re welcome to book a free 30-minute consultation to see whether this approach feels like the right fit for you.

📩 clairelakeycounselling@outlook.com