Meeting What We Want Means Facing What We Fear

A reflection on self-worth, healing, and rewriting the story

There’s something tender and terrifying about wanting more. Not just more money or more stuff, but more connection. More meaning. More of the life we know, deep down, is possible.

But sometimes when we move towards those things, something in us flinches. Not because we don’t want them, but because some old, unspoken part of us still believes:

“I don’t deserve that.” “It’s not for people like me.” “It’s safer not to ask.”

Your outer world mirrors your inner script.

In Transactional Analysis (TA), we talk about Script, the unconscious life story we begin shaping in childhood. It’s built on early decisions we made to stay safe, loved, or accepted. You might have internalised: • “I have to work hard to be chosen.” • “If I’m invisible, I won’t be rejected.” • “Wanting too much makes me selfish.”

These beliefs aren’t bad or shameful – they were survival strategies. But if they’ve never been questioned, they can quietly shape how we show up in adult life, especially in work that requires visibility, value, and self-trust.

Change begins the moment you realise you have a choice.

This is where therapy can help.

In Transactional Analysis, we explore the rules, messages, and expectations you may have swallowed whole. Things like: • “You should always put others first.” • “Don’t make a fuss.” • “Stay small, stay safe.”

These old voices can still run the show, even if part of you knows better. Through therapy, we begin to gently explore those messages and separate them from your here-and-now Adult self, the part of you who can choose, can assess, and can rewrite the rules.

You’re not broken, you’re updating the story.

This isn’t about erasing who you were. It’s about reclaiming who you’re becoming. And that brings us to another powerful concept in TA: the Winning Script. A Winning Script isn’t about perfection or performance. It’s not about hustle or achievement. It’s about crafting a life that reflects your real values, needs, and wants now. It might sound like: • “I can take up space without apologising.” • “I’m allowed to receive care and rest.” • “I don’t have to fix myself to be loved.”

You’re not becoming someone else, you’re becoming more of yourself. It takes time to make changes, not just time on the calendar, but emotional time – space, safety, and the right conditions to allow something new to emerge, and that’s okay. Progress doesn’t have to be fast to be real. You just have to be willing to meet yourself where you are. That’s where real connection happens. That’s where your new story begins.

If you're curious about therapy, you can book a free 30-minute consultation here.